Well…I have been contemplating whether or not to relay this story on here for awhile. I can actually laugh about it now but at the time I was highly annoyed & agitated.
So a couple weeks ago on a Sunday, I had to go to Asda just to grab a few essentials for Sunday dinner, my car was off the road, resulting in me having to catch taxi there & back. Now the problems began the minute I got AJ out the taxi & into his pram. It started off with small little moaning noises & by the time we reached the last aisle, it was full blown wails. When I got too the checkout all heads in the store were turned towards AJ & myself. It was so awkward I felt I had to make a joke to the entire store literally the entire store gave a little chuckle, easing my anxiety just a little bit.
A few of the cashiers that regularly see us tried to calm AJ, make him laugh etc nothing seemed to be working that day.
I called a taxi from within Asda & went to stand outside to give people’s ears a break, it was really needed believe me. It was raining outside but I thought the fresh air might do us both some justice….well I was definitely wrong about that.
AJ’s lungs echoed throughout the car park, I could feel the stares & the the heat rising up my spine, my eyes were darting everywhere trying to avoid the stares of people passing by. In the 45 minutes that I stood & waited for my taxi, my anxiety was on high alert.
While I waited AJ was still wailing & the stares were increasing….all of a sudden a woman I had seen walking in earlier had come back & was stood in front of me. “You alright bab, everything ok with you, would you like a lift home.” I was genuinely shell shocked & embarrassed, did I look that sad & desperate a stranger was willing to have me & my child in her car. The thought made me crumble inside, I politely refused her offer & continued waiting for my taxi in shame & embarrassment.
5 minutes later another woman came up too us, offering food, she automatically assumed AJ was crying due to hunger, she offered to buy him food from Asda, once again I politely refused. I felt a mix of emotions at first I was angry, why would she automatically assume AJ was hungry, if you’ve met my son then you know what i’m talking about, AJ is very well fed, I never step out the house without ensuring his belly’s full. Then I thought ‘well you know what it was nice of her to offer at the end of the day, I shouldn’t be angry.’
At this point my head was going berserk, where was my taxi?, why was I not at home? & why on earth was AJ still crying?.
Speaking to AJ’s dad calmed me down for about ten minutes until a man at the cashpoint decided to speak. “Is he not your child?, is that why he’s crying?.” I was speechless for a couple seconds & then my mouth just went off on it’s own rant ‘No he’s Jesus’s baby, i’m just babysitting’ & a few other choice words I won’t repeat followed but that was it for me, the final straw I was sick off it, every taxi rank I had previously called received an angry call back & can you believe all three taxi ranks pulled up at the same time. I was fuming!
2 minutes later we were in the taxi, I weren’t wasting no time & i’m sure the whole of Asda appreciated my quick departure. As soon as we entered & was comfortable in the taxi…..AJ fell asleep, seriously like knocked out clean. I couldn’t do anything but laugh. As soon as I got home I felt myself calming down in my own comfortable surroundings. I found myself reassessing the whole situation.
What bothered me first of all was that, each person that spoke to me assumed that I needed assistance. Hats off to them for offering but the thought of them assuming I was incompetent of looking after my own child bugged the hell out of me. Another issue I dont like is that at times, not all the time but at times, I find that older people feel the need to exert themselves & their experiences into a young mothers life, not too say that help & advice isn’t needed from the older generation, I just think it should be given when asked for.
Young mums have such an unflattering & negative stigma held over them it’s awful & degrading.
I understand that there are a few young parents out there who don’t behave like they’ve been blessed but a majority that I know & i’m aware of are really great parents. I wholeheartedly believe that fellow individuals within my generation are amazing parents despite having kids at a young age, or having an unfortunate upbringing I’ve found that some young parents have found a way to overcome the faults thrown at them. Instead of relying on alcohol & drugs to block out reality, or benefits & men to live daily. I’ve seen young mothers push to succeed, continuing with education during pregnancies instead of dropping out, working more hours to ensure they’re kids can have anything they desire while still pregnant. Graduating from university while raising toddlers & working. I just think young mothers of today are amazing & yes I may seem bias but i’m most definitely speaking from an observing point & from what I’ve observed. We-Are-A-mazing!
People may put young mothers down, they may discriminate as well but please pay no mind, we are a generation of go-getters, a generation of fighters & believers, a generation of possibilities. Don’t forget that, when things start to become overwhelming or people start inserting their two pences into your life, remember your accomplishments as a young mother, its no walk in the park but you do it daily.
Peace + Love
Nothing beats a mothers love, old or young.