2018..What a Year!

2018..What a Year!

Poof…..and out of nowhere she appears again!

Guyssssssssss (and I mean that in the most gender neutral way possible) it has been quite some time since I posted any form of content on social media. A year and 5 months to be exact and for that I want to start of by genuinely apologising to my readers for my abstinence. It did not start of as something done intentionally but the more time passed the more I settled into my routine and it didn’t include Cocktail Minds. There were times during this long period where I wanted to write and post but felt that my content wasn’t worthy for my readers. I literally  set dates and goals for when I would get Cocktail Minds back up and running but nothing ever seemed to go to plan. A year and three months later and finally my creative juices started flowing again. I have been dyinggg to get back to Cocktail Minds despite all the madness that’s currently going on in my life but before we get into the current shenanigans let me just give you a quick rundown of 2018.

January

Started off ever so blessed, I was focused on the Law of Attraction, I was so motivated, eating well, speaking positive daily, I remember having a conversation with an old friend and telling them that I would be back to my normal self again, I specifically remember speaking into existence a new job role in February 2018 and lo and behold January 28th I received a phone call for a job position, come February 1st I would be settling into my new job role quite well.

February

I was in a new role and I was loving being back in a work environment after being away from it for so long, I set a routine for myself and AJ, he started nursery which was such a big thing for the both of us. For me it was having to leave him with strangers and being away from him that got to me but whewww chile that end of the month salary was calling out too me differently and as a single mother I made that choice to go back to work. I had a lot of people telling me not to, that it would jeopardise AJ’s growth. How? I really do not know but you know when you just have to remind individuals that they aren’t the ones paying your bills. Anyway I was going with the flow enjoying my new role. 

At the end of February, my friends and I had to experience the 1st Anniversary of our good friend Juel’s death. To be quite honest with you, I thought that I had somewhat overcome his death, not that I had forgotten about him or the events that took place but more because I had spent 2017 grieving his death in such an unhealthy manner that when I had finally began to heal and view life in a positive way I thought I was overcoming his death. Oh the lies one tells thy self lol.

March

There were two lives I was living, my depressed life and my positive life. My depressed self didn’t understand why I was still alive, I didn’t understand what I had to offer to the world when they’re were others who were amazing people but sadly were not able to live their full life. I felt lonely and secluded from the world not sure how to express myself. I definitely did not understand how I was functioning in life but somehow I was, that was my positive side, waking up everyday for work, helping vulnerable people with housing, substance mis-use, family issues, depression, anxiety, you name it, I was putting my energy into trying to help these individuals. It was crazy to me because some of the advice & support I was offering these individuals was the same advice  I needed to hear myself but for some reason just weren’t able to take in and digest. This left me feeling weak, confused and disappointed in myself. 

My birthday came round, for those of you that aren’t aware its March 19th. So imagine, leading up to my birthday the one thing that I really wanted was a new car, my car at the time was ricketyyyy, had a whole mind of its own, it would start and cut out when it felt like it, some days it wouldn’t even turn on, my birthday was no exception. I woke up feeling positive looking forward to my birthday lunch, I had gotten myself and AJ ready for the day, loaded the car up ready to head off for the nursery run and yup ze’ car was not having it, I thought ‘that’s it for me’, days over before it even began. Back upstairs we went, I remember being on the phone to a friend filling her in on the situation and she just kept advising me to stay positive, no matter what was thrown at me to show the universe I could take it and rise above it, she was able to calm my anxiety and steer me towards finding a solution rather than allowing my anxiety to take over and end my day before it  had started. So as I was waiting for my friend to head towards me I contacted the RAC they were able to jumpstart my car, thank the heavens, then out of nowhere I receive a phone call with an offer for a brand new car….I kid you not, the stars we aligning It seemed like everything that I was asking from the universe was coming to me. So that day I got myself a brand new car & decided the Law of Attraction was finally working in my favour again, let me give it my all & that’s exactly what I did.

Between April and June I put everything into working full time, I devoted myself to the company and completely lost myself, it was only after being stabbed with a used needle (I got checked out straight away & I’m good, no worries lol) that I took a step back to realise I had immersed myself again into something that was soul draining so after going back and forth with myself, I chose to leave the job. The same day that I quit that job, I received 4 job offers from business competitors. I was so gassed, I felt like the universe was finally hearing my prayers, the  following week I started a new job. Honestly the job was great to begin with until slowly my anxiety couldn’t deal with being discriminated against (will most certainly be writing a follow up post on this), & suffice to say a year later (in 2019 before you all start thinking I can’t hold a job lol), I quit that job too but that’s a post for another day.

Anyway the rest of the year breezed by I made some major changes, moving home & city hoping it would help my mental state…..did it heck. Guys the way I really believed I had messed things up good & proper, I thought that was me done, finito.  Well so I thought……..

Come back next week for part 2 but be sure to have a read of the other posts on Le’ Cocktail Minds..x

AJ’s Antics!

AJ’s Antics!

Well…I have been contemplating whether or not to relay this story on here for awhile. I can actually laugh about it now but at the time I was highly annoyed & agitated.

So a couple weeks ago on a Sunday, I had to go to Asda just to grab a few essentials for Sunday dinner, my car was off the road, resulting in me having to catch taxi there & back. Now the problems began the minute I got AJ out the taxi & into his pram. It started off with small little moaning noises & by the time we reached the last aisle, it was full blown wails. When I got too the checkout all heads in the store were turned towards AJ & myself. It was so awkward I felt I had to make a joke to the entire store literally the entire store gave a little chuckle, easing my anxiety just a little bit.
A few of the cashiers that regularly see us tried to calm AJ, make him laugh etc nothing seemed to be working that day.

I called a taxi from within Asda & went to stand outside to give people’s ears a break, it was really needed believe me. It was raining outside but I thought the fresh air might do us both some justice….well I was definitely wrong about that.
AJ’s lungs echoed throughout the car park, I could feel the stares & the the heat rising up my spine, my eyes were darting everywhere trying to avoid the stares of people passing by. In the 45 minutes that I stood & waited for my taxi, my anxiety was on high alert.

While I waited AJ was still wailing & the stares were increasing….all of a sudden a woman I had seen walking in earlier had come back & was stood in front of me. “You alright bab, everything ok with you, would you like a lift home.” I was genuinely shell shocked & embarrassed, did I look that sad & desperate a stranger was willing to have me & my child in her car. The thought made me crumble inside, I politely refused her offer & continued waiting for my taxi in shame & embarrassment.
5 minutes later another woman came up too us, offering food, she automatically assumed AJ was crying due to hunger, she offered to buy him food from Asda, once again I politely refused. I felt a mix of emotions at first I was angry, why would she automatically assume AJ was hungry, if you’ve met my son then you know what i’m talking about, AJ is very well fed, I never step out the house without ensuring his belly’s full. Then I thought ‘well you know what it was nice of her to offer at the end of the day, I shouldn’t be angry.’
At this point my head was going berserk, where was my taxi?, why was I not at home? & why on earth was AJ still crying?.
Speaking to AJ’s dad calmed me down for about ten minutes until a man at the cashpoint decided to speak. “Is he not your child?, is that why he’s crying?.” I was speechless for a couple seconds & then my mouth just went off on it’s own rant ‘No he’s Jesus’s baby, i’m just babysitting’ & a few other choice words I won’t repeat followed but that was it for me, the final straw I was sick off it, every taxi rank I had previously called received an angry call back & can you believe all three taxi ranks pulled up at the same time. I was fuming!
2 minutes later we were in the taxi, I weren’t wasting no time & i’m sure the whole of Asda appreciated my quick departure. As soon as we entered & was comfortable in the taxi…..AJ fell asleep, seriously like knocked out clean. I couldn’t do anything but laugh. As soon as I got home I felt myself calming down in my own comfortable surroundings. I found myself reassessing the whole situation.

What bothered me first of all was that, each person that spoke to me assumed that I needed assistance. Hats off to them for offering but the thought of them assuming I was incompetent of looking after my own child bugged the hell out of me. Another issue I dont like is that at times, not all the time but at times, I find that older people feel the need to exert themselves & their experiences into a young mothers life, not too say that help & advice isn’t needed from the older generation, I just think it should be given when asked for.

Young mums have such an unflattering & negative stigma held over them it’s awful & degrading.
I understand that there are a few young parents out there who don’t behave like they’ve been blessed but a majority that I know & i’m aware of are really great parents. I wholeheartedly believe that fellow individuals within my generation are amazing parents despite having kids at a young age, or having an unfortunate upbringing I’ve found that some young parents have found a way to overcome the faults thrown at them. Instead of relying on alcohol & drugs to block out reality, or benefits & men to live daily. I’ve seen young mothers push to succeed, continuing with education during pregnancies instead of dropping out, working more hours to ensure they’re kids can have anything they desire while still pregnant. Graduating from university while raising toddlers & working. I just think young mothers of today are amazing & yes I may seem bias but i’m most definitely speaking from an observing point & from what I’ve observed. We-Are-A-mazing!

People may put young mothers down, they may discriminate as well but please pay no mind, we are a generation of go-getters, a generation of fighters & believers, a generation of possibilities. Don’t forget that, when things start to become overwhelming or people start inserting their two pences into your life, remember your accomplishments as a young mother, its no walk in the park but you do it daily.

Peace + Love
💛

 

Nothing beats a mothers love, old or young. 

My 1st attempt at Frozen Yoghurt

  1. So AJ’s father recently brought over some pears his mother grew over the past summer. I’m not a big pear eater, not a big eater of most fruits to be honest, unless they’re baked into a dessert but anyway, he brought over quite a lot & for a while I’d been contemplating what to do with them.
    Then today after deciding I was sick of buying the same types of yoghurts for AJ I thought why not make our own. If you’ve got a selection of fruits why don’t you give it a try, the only extra things needed is an All Natural Yoghurt & a blender.

For our 1st attempt we made a Pear & Orange Frozen Yoghurt;

1 Orange sliced & diced
1 Orange – Juiced
2 Sliced & diced juicy Pears
2 tsp of Honey
2 cups of Natural yoghurt

I was a bit wary of how AJ would like it, his been a bit funny with his fruits recently but to my amazement he actually loved it, I gave him a little taste before adding them to the freezer for about 45 minutes. The texture & temperature was just right for AJ especially due to the fact he’s currently teething. He ended up demolishing both batches I made & cried for more. I’m happily confident he enjoyed the frozen yoghurt.
Will most certainly be doing this a lot more & trying out different fruity flavours.

Let me know if you come up with any amazing flavours, it’s lovely too share mumma’s.

Peace + Love
💛

AJ’s Snack Draw

AJ’s Snack Draw

To start off with I’d just like to say, I absolutely adore the little snacks they have for babies & the toddlers these days, they are just too cute. My son AJ loves his food & snacks so I like to make sure he has a variety of healthy balanced meals, whether that’s my own cooking or shop bought products. He’s able to reach his snack draw now which I feel like is a blessing & a curse, yes he can help himself that’s awesome but then when he decides to empty the draw & throw things all round the kitchen (this can happen 2/3 times a day) I tend to wish the draw was just a little bit higher.

Anyway so this week we’ve stocked up the draw with some of AJ’s favourite products & some new ones, so I hope you enjoy our opinions (based on AJ’s facial expressions). Also all food & snack products can be found in your local supermarkets.

 

 

1.Heinz

I usually give AJ something light but filling for lunch & maybe a fruit or yoghurt after, recently I picked up the Apricot Chicken & rice meal because it was a flavor I was intrigued by, shockingly he actually ended up enjoying the meal so much I decided to switch from Ella organic meals & give Heinz a try.

2. Ella’s Kitchen

I may have changed brands for AJ’s meals but I well technically WE still love Ella’s Kitchen. Their products & flavours are so inventive, extremely tasty & 100% organic (majority of their products). The Strawberry & Banana puffs as well as the Tomato & Cheese hoops are favourites for AJ, he loves being able to dip his hand in the packet & feed himself it gives him a sense of independence.

3. Organix

When it comes to Organix I tend to purchase the cereals produced by the brand rather than their snacks which are also alright. Off the top of my head I think AJ only seems to like the corn rings. His not too fond of the cheese puffs pictured.

4. Paws

Now this is a new brand I thought we’d give a try, the packaging looks & feels great, makes you feel like your buying your toddler luxurious treats. I picked up the shaped fruits for little man & was really looking forward to him giving them a try. Turns out they weren’t quite to his taste buds.

5. Kiddylicous

Another favourite, the kiddylicous range is great especially the smoothie melts & wafers. A quick snack when on the go, AJ can get through a packet in under 5mins. I’ve had a taste myself & would definitely recommend it.

Hope you’ve enjoyed
Peace + Love

 

Becoming a Mother

Becoming a Mother

In May 2016 I became a mother, it was the most incredible experience I had ever gone through. From the first contraction to the minute my baby was in my arms was a blur of emotions. I knew at that moment, no matter how petrified & uncertain I was of the future, my child would be okay.
10 months before that awesome day in May, I was completely unaware I was pregnant, I found out after booking a regular checkup & even though I had actually prayed to have a lil bundle of joy that would love me with as much love as I had to offer, it still came as a complete an utter shock when the doctor told me I was having a baby. I was not prepared mentally or physically to have a child, living in a shared accommodation, drinking a lot, arguing with anyone that spoke. My thoughts were even more selfish. ‘How could I be so stupid?’ ‘My life is ruined’, ‘I won’t ever get time to myself anymore’. This brain was definitely a Jumbled Julep.
The rest of week consisted of me inflicting pain on myself as punishment, guilt, anger, confusion & tears then out of the blue on the Friday morning I woke up, happy as Larry at the thought of a little strawberry growing within me. I remember phoning my older cousin & telling her “I can’t give up this child but I can’t raise this child” & went on to bawl my eyes out while listing all the reasons I couldn’t raise a child, she replied “Naomi, what’s the first thing you said to me” I racked my Woo Woo mind trying to remember. “Is it that I couldn’t give up the child” She said “Naomi if that’s the 1st thing that came out of your mouth, Don’t you think you’ve already made up your mind.” At this point I knew there was no going back. I was having this child & not a single person was going to deter me from this path.
I embraced every step of my pregnancy, downloaded multiple apps. I changed my diet, ate more healthy & I exercised daily. It felt like it took foreeeverrr for my belly to grow but once it did it was unbelievable. I lived for the moments my baby moved or kicked, the feeling was indescribable, having an actual human being living inside you is definitely one of the weirdest things I’ve ever attempted to describe.
The day my love arrived was absolutely hilarious, now that I think about it……It definitely wasn’t at the time. I woke up to use the toilet & went back to sleep, woke up again, went back to sleep, when I woke up the third time I realised hmm maybe something just isn’t right here……Then the pain hit me, it was the worst pain I’d ever felt (by the age of 17, I’d already had 6/7 tattoos but shh that’s another story lol). 1min I was laughing my head off with his Aunty haha-ing away then the next minute I was crawling on the floor like a possessed woman, screaming my head off. I had to wait half an hour for my child’s father to come pick me up to then drive half an hour back to Birmingham.
You always picture it like the movies, your water breaks once, does the whole gushing routine & boom here’s your baby, cleaned & wrapped up…..Mhmm no, that was far from reality. My water broke three times, threeeee. I practically created a lake in the car, the seatbelt almost strangled babies Nan with all the kicking & flailing around I was doing on the backseat. By the time I got to the hospital I had to be pulled out the car like Superman with half of me looking like I’d been down a water slide.
Within 10mins of getting inside the hospital, our little boy arrived into the world, legs kicking just like his mum. It was so overwhelming, all those months I’d waited to meet him & here he finally was all 7 pounds 11 of him, my greatest accomplishment.
AJ’s first year went by so slow but so fast, he was crawling at 6 months, had attitude by 9 months & was on his feet waddling about by 11months. Watching him grow & learn is so mind blowing, I truly wish I had, had the courage to create this blog beforehand so that I could share the journey with my readers but it’s never too late & I hope you all join me in this journey of motherhood.
P.s I’ve added my favourite picture of 2016 below, my most proudest moment ever 💖

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