Becoming a Mother

Becoming a Mother

In May 2016 I became a mother, it was the most incredible experience I had ever gone through. From the first contraction to the minute my baby was in my arms was a blur of emotions. I knew at that moment, no matter how petrified & uncertain I was of the future, my child would be okay.
10 months before that awesome day in May, I was completely unaware I was pregnant, I found out after booking a regular checkup & even though I had actually prayed to have a lil bundle of joy that would love me with as much love as I had to offer, it still came as a complete an utter shock when the doctor told me I was having a baby. I was not prepared mentally or physically to have a child, living in a shared accommodation, drinking a lot, arguing with anyone that spoke. My thoughts were even more selfish. ‘How could I be so stupid?’ ‘My life is ruined’, ‘I won’t ever get time to myself anymore’. This brain was definitely a Jumbled Julep.
The rest of week consisted of me inflicting pain on myself as punishment, guilt, anger, confusion & tears then out of the blue on the Friday morning I woke up, happy as Larry at the thought of a little strawberry growing within me. I remember phoning my older cousin & telling her “I can’t give up this child but I can’t raise this child” & went on to bawl my eyes out while listing all the reasons I couldn’t raise a child, she replied “Naomi, what’s the first thing you said to me” I racked my Woo Woo mind trying to remember. “Is it that I couldn’t give up the child” She said “Naomi if that’s the 1st thing that came out of your mouth, Don’t you think you’ve already made up your mind.” At this point I knew there was no going back. I was having this child & not a single person was going to deter me from this path.
I embraced every step of my pregnancy, downloaded multiple apps. I changed my diet, ate more healthy & I exercised daily. It felt like it took foreeeverrr for my belly to grow but once it did it was unbelievable. I lived for the moments my baby moved or kicked, the feeling was indescribable, having an actual human being living inside you is definitely one of the weirdest things I’ve ever attempted to describe.
The day my love arrived was absolutely hilarious, now that I think about it……It definitely wasn’t at the time. I woke up to use the toilet & went back to sleep, woke up again, went back to sleep, when I woke up the third time I realised hmm maybe something just isn’t right here……Then the pain hit me, it was the worst pain I’d ever felt (by the age of 17, I’d already had 6/7 tattoos but shh that’s another story lol). 1min I was laughing my head off with his Aunty haha-ing away then the next minute I was crawling on the floor like a possessed woman, screaming my head off. I had to wait half an hour for my child’s father to come pick me up to then drive half an hour back to Birmingham.
You always picture it like the movies, your water breaks once, does the whole gushing routine & boom here’s your baby, cleaned & wrapped up…..Mhmm no, that was far from reality. My water broke three times, threeeee. I practically created a lake in the car, the seatbelt almost strangled babies Nan with all the kicking & flailing around I was doing on the backseat. By the time I got to the hospital I had to be pulled out the car like Superman with half of me looking like I’d been down a water slide.
Within 10mins of getting inside the hospital, our little boy arrived into the world, legs kicking just like his mum. It was so overwhelming, all those months I’d waited to meet him & here he finally was all 7 pounds 11 of him, my greatest accomplishment.
AJ’s first year went by so slow but so fast, he was crawling at 6 months, had attitude by 9 months & was on his feet waddling about by 11months. Watching him grow & learn is so mind blowing, I truly wish I had, had the courage to create this blog beforehand so that I could share the journey with my readers but it’s never too late & I hope you all join me in this journey of motherhood.
P.s I’ve added my favourite picture of 2016 below, my most proudest moment ever 💖

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