Family relationships play a big part when it comes to our Health & Well-being. Our family are our foundation, our roots, our first experiences of love, loyalty & stability is provided to us by our family. The way I picture it your parents provide you with the understanding of love, your siblings or cousins teach you the meaning of loyalty & your grandparents, they’re the stable base of the family providing the love, loyalty, stability & safety all in one.
So when you don’t have these factors in life how do you cope?
A majority of my life was spent within the care system & although I had contact with my siblings & cousins, I didn’t really get the opportunity to build any form of relationship with them until I reached the age of about 14/15 but beside that, it didn’t stop me from gaining an understanding of love, loyalty & stability.
Growing up I invested the love I didn’t get a chance to receive from my biological family into my chosen family, this included my close friends, foster family & family friends. I dedicated my energy & time into these individuals because they were the closest I got to experiencing the family concept.
I’m writing this post just to bring awareness to the importance of family (biological & non-biological) & the influence they have on your mental state.
I had the best foster carers growing up, they included me in every aspect of their lives. Family events, gatherings, holidays. Everything you can think of, I was a part of but there was always an aspect of my life that I felt was missing. I felt it everyday not being allowed to receive hugs or the same emotional treatment that biological children received. When I began visiting my biological family I became more aware of what I was missing at home with my foster family & although I was involved in family rituals I was still kept at arms length due to government laws, being young I was naive but the older I got the more I noticed the effects it had on me mentally.
At times I genuinely felt unloved, I would believe that my foster parents only entertained me because they were paid too do so. I couldn’t fathom why they would have any love for a person who had no family link to them but then at the same time I was investing love into my friends & vice versa yet we weren’t related. It took quite a significant amount of time but I finally gained a heartfelt understanding of what I had always had in front of me, loved ones, with a whole array of characteristics, opinions & personalities but they loved me & vice versa.
How do I feel now?
I am so grateful to God that I was able to have the opportunity to receive love from both my biological & adoptive family it was through these individuals that I learnt valuable lessons in life. Shoutout to my real loved ones, thank you for positively impacting my life, despite my mixed emotions & rude outbursts (here & there) you guys still stick by me so thank you & may God bless you in abundance with what your heart desires.
Peace + Love ✌🏾
P.S show gratitude to your loved ones, give them a reminder of why it is that they love you & constantly stick by you.