I recently committed myself to reading a scripture out of the bible daily as well as a chapter a day out of a book titled ‘The Purpose Driven Life’
Isn’t it annoying when you unexpectedly wake up to a sucky day. I mean everything sucks, one thing seems to go wrong causing a domino effect throughout your day. I recently had one of those days, it caused me to stop & assess my purpose in life.
To be honest I think it started from the night before. I stayed up through the night reading up on a young American girl who was recently murdered & left in a freezer, just reading & researching the story clouded my mood & my heart resulting in me having an irritable sleep. So the minute I woke up it was inevitable i’d be in a bad mood. I felt like there was nothing I could do that would pull me out of this mood but I gave it a try anyway. Pulled myself out of bed & attempted to make a hearty ‘get your day started’ breakfast. Well lets just say that didn’t go to plan, I ended up staring at my open cupboards for about 20 minutes hoping a creative idea would jump out at me, that didn’t happen either. I started to stress, a task so small but yet I just couldn’t follow through with it. I tried to take a breath to calm my anxiety. Why was such a simple task causing such an issue? Why couldn’t I just make a decision? This had me thinking about my entire life, I can never make decisions & stick to them. My indecisiveness is my biggest weakness, a simple decision that can be answered quite easily for others requires time & a whole lot of overthinking for me. On a bad day my overthinking can lead me to start feeling sorry for myself, I develop this woe is me attitude, ashamed of myself & my failures. Once I’m in this state it’s quite hard to get out of. I begin scrutinising every failure i’ve occurred, picking my life apart bit by bit, punishing myself with the memories. Literally verbally & mentally abusing myself.
For other individuals a sucky day can be overcome quite easily. I find that people who deal with depression find it’s far from easy. A rubbish day turns into a rubbish week where I question my reason & purpose for being on this planet, for receiving certain blessings that others would appreciate much more.
I dwell on these factors believing this is me, this is the failure I was created to be, this is my purpose but and that is a BIG BUT that is not the case. I can not stress enough how important your purpose is, whether it’s to make an impact out there in the world or positively influence yours or your families life there is a reason for your life & despite the trials & tribulations of it, it is always possible to overcome it.
I’m going to end this post with a scripture I read out of the book The Purpose Driven Life, that I personally felt touched my heart & allowed me to get up and start over.
‘I know what I’m planning for you…I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope & a good future.’ Jeremiah 29:11
Peace + Love