What a Year contd…

What a Year contd…

So continuing on from (2018 what a year)



Going into the summer of 2018, I had started working at a new company, similar role but much needed new employers. I enjoyed being in a more professional work environment than the previous job so I had no complaints, although after awhile it began to get tedious traveling back and forth between two cities for work and home. One day I expressed this to my employer and shockingly I was offered the chance to move back to Birmingham via living in one of my employers private properties. At first I had major doubts about the offer  but then I had to kind of give myself a quick swift kick, this was an amazing opportunity that probably wouldn’t be offered to me again & based on the other opportunities that had come up throughout the year, how could I deny another blessing?!.

Once I was able to process and accept the offer, I swung into the motion of preparing to move. September came & I felt my energy uplifting each day leading up to moving day.  Starting fresh was my one and only goal, I wanted to do things different for myself and my family. This move was going to make me become a better person I was adamant of it.

Fast forward a couple great positive months…

 Were in the middle of November, AJ had caught a virus for the 2nd time that year. This led to an infection & him being hospitalised with breathing issues, the same situation had happened before and was really scary & painful to deal with but as we had previously experienced it, I was better prepared this time round when I received the call from his Father. During that period AJs father and myself were not getting along at all 🙄 so the whole situation really humbled us as parents and we managed to be civil during the hospital stay and the ride back lol.

Once the engine turned off it was a another story, we ended up having an argument that impacted me so NEGATIVELY, my mental health took a severe beating. From that point onwards for the rest of the year I was up and down. I couldn’t get ahold of my moods, my chakra was definitely imbalanced, but I had to slap on that positive face because I had a child to care for & over 30 clients who depended on me.

The start of 2019 was an absolute shambles!!!

Two weeks into the year I had reached such a low point, I attempted to take my own life. I felt like I had failed everyone and everything around me, in my head I felt as if I tainted the world. My negativity was draining others & the guilt was too much to bare. There was just too much going on and at that time I thought that was the best decision, luckily enough for me I had an angel looking out for me. Friends and family came at a time when I really needed them & I was given support by them and an amazing ambulance crew. I will forever be filled with gratitude towards these individuals because they saved me! They saved me from the worst decision I’d ever made in my entire life. 

Ashleigh, Layce, Felesha, Yasmine & the two Ambulance Crew staff Amy + Chris. Some of you may not ever see this but I want you to know from the bottom of my heart I am truly truly grateful!. x

So that same weekend I decided I just wanted to be at home, I wasn’t up for communicating or anything like that, so that’s what I did, I only came out of my house for one thing & damn didn’t I end up regretting that. I was minding my own business driving back from the local shop & out of nowhere BOOM!! 

Someone had only gone & crashed into me, once I’d regained composure and got out the car, I attempted to call 999 as the other driver had jumped out of the car and RAN OFF...yesss HE RAN OFF. Sirens swung round the corner before I could even say ‘my name is’. Turns out the police were already chasing the driver as the car had been stolen. Not only had he crashed into me but he had also crashed into another woman’s  car & completely written it off. Despite the damages I was able to get my car home safely, all I could think about was how lucky I was. The events of the weekend were eye opening for me, I felt the impact of the negative energy that was festering within me, smouldering my light. At that moment I vowed to myself that I would keep going, no matter what I was hit with, no matter how I felt I would just keep going. 

The Aftermath

The crash resulted in my car being off road for awhile, which ended up hindering my former job role and because I lived in my former employers home, this lead to me & AJ becoming homeless.

At this point you guys must be thinking I attract some serious bad luck…yeah I felt the same way too… at the time.  We ended up homeless for 3/4 months, despite this I still had hope, even on the days I had to make noodles in the kettle lool I still had hope. I keep telling you guys I’m destined for greatness, I refuse to believe that the negativity of the past will become my future. So I keep on pushing

Got myself a new job with an amazing legit hardworking company, moved into a beautiful home with an understanding landlord who has been nothing but supportive towards me as a single mother. I changed my thought process, the people and energy around me. Made some hard decisions that impacted my social circle & my family but I knew these decisions would benefit me mentally. Currently I’m in a really good head space, the universe keeps throwing things my way to trip me up, but I keep pushing forward and I see that the Universe notices this because when I need it the blessings come ohh sweet days my blessings definitely come through. 

Well to wrap up on that negative period!

If you’ve reached all the way to end I just want to thank you for taking the time out to read this post, it took a while to write because I was unsure about being so open about everything but one thing that I’ve learnt during this whole period is how to effectively release any doubt, pain or hurt in my life, let it gooo, let it goooo (yes please believe I’m actually singing frozen as I write). Anyway I’m proud of where I am at the moment, how much I’ve overcome in the last couple of years. I’m grateful for the people around me & I’m ready to kick this life into gear and help those in similar positions as me.

        I’ve got a lot of great things in store for you guys and ooo I’m so excited baby. Roll with me readers we gon’ have some fun for the last five months of the year. The year will not end as it began.











If you’re feeling suicidal, it’s important to tell someone.
Help and support is available right now if you need it. You don’t have to struggle with difficult feelings alone.

Phone a helpline
These free helplines are there to help when you’re feeling down or desperate.
Unless it says otherwise, they’re open 24 hours a day, every day.

Samaritans – for everyone
Call 116 123
Email jo@samaritans.org
Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) – for men
Call 0800 58 58 58 – 5pm to midnight every day
Visit the webchat page
Papyrus – for people under 35
Call 0800 068 41 41 – Monday to Friday 10am to 10pm, weekends 2pm to 10pm, bank holidays 2pm to 5pm
Text 07786 209697
Email pat@papyrus-uk.org
Childline – for children and young people under 19
Call 0800 1111 – the number won’t show up on your phone bill










Do Our Family Relationships Impact Our Health?

Do Our Family Relationships Impact Our Health?

Family relationships play a big part when it comes to our Health & Well-being. Our family are our foundation, our roots, our first experiences of love, loyalty & stability is provided to us by our family. The way I picture it your parents provide you with the understanding of love, your siblings or cousins teach you the meaning of loyalty & your grandparents, they’re the stable base of the family providing the love, loyalty, stability & safety all in one.

So when you don’t have these factors in life how do you cope?

A majority of my life was spent within the care system & although I had contact with my siblings & cousins, I didn’t really get the opportunity to build any form of relationship with them until I reached the age of about 14/15 but beside that, it didn’t stop me from gaining an understanding of love, loyalty & stability.

Growing up I invested the love I didn’t get a chance to receive from my biological family into my chosen family, this included my close friends, foster family & family friends. I dedicated my energy & time into these individuals because they were the closest I got to experiencing the family concept.
I’m writing this post just to bring awareness to the importance of family (biological & non-biological) & the influence they have on your mental state.

I had the best foster carers growing up, they included me in every aspect of their lives. Family events, gatherings, holidays. Everything you can think of, I was a part of but there was always an aspect of my life that I felt was missing. I felt it everyday not being allowed to receive hugs or the same emotional treatment that biological children received. When I began visiting my biological family I became more aware of what I was missing at home with my foster family & although I was involved in family rituals I was still kept at arms length due to government laws, being young I was naive but the older I got the more I noticed the effects it had on me mentally.

At times I genuinely felt unloved, I would believe that my foster parents only entertained me because they were paid too do so. I couldn’t fathom why they would have any love for a person who had no family link to them but then at the same time I was investing love into my friends & vice versa yet we weren’t related. It took quite a significant amount of time but I finally gained a heartfelt understanding of what I had always had in front of me, loved ones, with a whole array of characteristics, opinions & personalities but they loved me & vice versa.


How do I feel now?

I am so grateful to God that I was able to have the opportunity to receive love from both my biological & adoptive family it was through these individuals that I learnt valuable lessons in life. Shoutout to my real loved ones, thank you for positively impacting my life, despite my mixed emotions & rude outbursts (here & there) you guys still stick by me so thank you & may God bless you in abundance with what your heart desires.


Peace + Love ✌🏾

P.S show gratitude to your loved ones, give them a reminder of why it is that they love you & constantly stick by you.

Shhh…It’s A Secret

Shhh…It’s A Secret

So I’m well aware The Secret has been around for several years & many individuals have used the Book or Movie to personally adjust their lives & the energy surrounding them. I personally felt I wasn’t ready to delve into that aspect of life, I don’t know why but I just wasn’t interested, I felt that it was impossible to just change your whole thought process & emotions based off reading a book or watching a movie….until recently.
After having a conversation with a friend I chose to watch two movies titled The Secret. Both videos were based on The Law of Attraction but one delved more deeper into the energy given out into the universe & the tasks we can do to adjust our way of thinking, while the second video focused on attracting happiness, great relationships and wealth among many other things.
While watching the videos I was definitely taking notes, comparing what the speakers were saying to my personal life & I found that a lot of the things that were being said I could strongly relate to. One thing that was said struck me, what I gathered from my own understanding was that, at times when we’re down & depressed we tend to think & say a lot of negative things which end up manifesting into reality & this is due to the thoughts & words we put out there into the Universe.
So I decided to set myself a challenge, for 30 days I will channel the advice given in The Secret to achieve the Law of attraction. A few things I’ve been doing is visualising my dreams so that they’re able to materialise, I’ve also been speaking out loud (daily) the things & people I’m grateful for, letting the universe know I am truly grateful.

Now I know there may not be a dramatic change in my life within 30days but I do know they will be a change & as long as there’s a possibility, there isn’t really any harm in trying is there?

Take a stand for your own happiness guys, give this 30 Day challenge a try with me & let’s see what positive impact we can have on ourselves.

Peace + Love

D.I.Y Natural Hair Conditioner 02

D.I.Y Natural Hair Conditioner 02

So today I gave myself an overdue hair treatment, it was overdueeee like 2 months past overdue. I’ve been really slacking with the self-care recently but anyway so today I deep conditioned my hair using my own hair treatment process & natural products as usual. The feeling after was just amazing, it felt like I was rinsing all my troubles away down the drain, getting deep into my scalp & just rejuvenating my hair.

In today’s mixture I used:

  • Shea Butter Strengthen & Restore Treatment Masque
    Truly amazing, the texture is like whipped butter, smooth with good coverage & smells beautiful. Main ingredients within the masque are-; Jamaican Black Castor Oil, Apple Cider Vinegar, Shea Butter & Peppermint.
  • Avocado
  • Honey
  • Just a little bit of water

I started of my hair treatment routine by doing an Apple Cider Vinegar rinse, parted my hair into four sections, sprayed each section with my ACV + Water solution, covered my hair with a plastic bag (it does the same job as a shower cap..in my opinion anyway) and let it work it’s magic.
I rinsed & shampooed my hair using the Shea Butter Strengthen & Restore shampoo with the same ingredients as above & then applied the Masque.
After rinsing again, I trimmed & braided my hair into single braids using Avocado Oil, Coconut Oil & Shea Butter Curl Enhancing Smoothie which is made of Coconut, Hibiscus, Silk Protein & Neem Oil. I’ll be wearing this as my protective hairstyle for a couple days while I work on some hair magic….so that is my deep hair treatment process guys, hope you enjoy.

Peace + Love

My Awakening

My Awakening

Today something came over me, something powerful & endearing. I experienced an Awakening. I don’t know where it came from but it took over.

I stopped everything I was doing & bent my knees to pray (now this is something I don’t really do, if I pray it’s usually in whatever spot I’m already in). Today I got on my knees & prayed. I prayed for guidance & support. I thanked God for all that he has done, all this time I thought I wasn’t being listened too & that I was just here with no purpose.
Oh how I was wrong, all this time I’ve  known what I wanted or needed to do in life, I’ve always wanted to help those similar to myself but a lack of faith within myself kept me holstered. I’ve let opportunities & blessings fly by, becoming complacent with my life not believing I had what it took to accomplish these opportunities but not today. Today I had my awakening, I manifested the signs God has been sending me & I prayed on them. I decided no more holding myself back I will fulfill what God has proclaimed for me.
It’s going to be a hard journey, I know but it’s one I’m willing to commit too, if helping myself means I can help someone else experience their awakening & encourage the positivity within that individual, why shouldn’t I push myself to do so?. I’ve got so much goals to complete when it comes to Cocktail Minds & I’m ever so excited. 

My next step will be too overcome the barriers I hold in front of myself by becoming more organised, using my excitement as a stepping stone rather than a way to escape reality & networking more with similar individuals.

My depression will not rule me forever, it’s ruled my life for far too long, holding me back & beating me down. Today i’m rising off the ground head & fist held high ready to conquer!.